Look how far we've come

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Breaking free

We went to Kansas City today for a cardiology appointment. I think I held my breath all the way through the echo.

And the verdict is... good news! Things appear to be shrinking back to normal like they should be. She said her weight and color look good. I could hardly believe my ears, I had prepared so much for bad news. I was like, are you sure? Heheh.

Now it's like... now what? I feel like a prison inmate set free, looking at daylight for the first time. This thing has consumed us for 9 months, for Lily's entire life, and we don't know what normal is or how to be normal, there's never been "normal" since the day she was born. It will be so foreign to not have to worry, to just sit back and expect her to grow, to not examine her for blue fingernails and lips. It's a mental adjustment and an emotional overload, but one of the good kind for sure.

God has been so good to us! How different things could have been. I've revisited this whole experience 100 times today... during the echo, waiting for the doctor, on the way home. I've thought about us, and her, and the others who weren't so lucky, and how much we have to be thankful for. I can't even put it into words. I can question "why" and wonder how life isn't what it's supposed to be to no end, but now it is time to move forward. Hopefully we can put this behind us. There are so many things that I wish hadn't happened and I wish I hadn't had to be there to witness, but I can't change it and wouldn't change the person it's made me today. Lily is one tough cookie - she's been through so much more in her short time here than most adults ever will in their entire lives.

Thank you all for your incredible amount of support, your undying prayers... just your presence in our lives has meant so much.

We go back in 6 months. That seems like an eternity!